Hey Homophobes, Time’s up

It’s only been a matter of time, really. So far, in my life,  I have witnessed a slow progression of rational thought winning out over pathetic, sleazy, and out-dated ideology. Recently, there have been several huge boosts, it seems, to the Gay Rights Movement. Dan Savage’s “It Gets Better” project took off like no one expected, “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” was removed, and hell, even the President of the United States finally came out in favour of gay marriage. Of course, that isn’t to say that terrible things aren’t still happening. Harassment, bullying, violence, and just general douchebaggery towards the LGBT community are all still rampant in North America, let alone the rest of the world. That being said, there is one sector of North American culture that has finally come around, and it is the one that I think signals the coming end for all the ignorant bigot-fucks out there:

The Economic Sector.

Yeah bitch

Continue reading


Death Metal Ain’t Got Nothin’ on the 1950s

I should probably come clean about something right off the bat – I have listened to a lot of heavy metal music. I was definitely one of those kids in high school wearing the Slipknot t-shirt. I had spiked, red and blue hair, I had a ring with a scorpion on it, I only wore black clothes, and I said things like, “Just leave me alone, dad!” all the time.

I was the one on the bottom left, essentially

Apart from giving you all another reason to laugh at me, I just want to demonstrate that I am well-acquainted with music that takes itself to be dark, creepy, or disturbing. None of this prepared, me, however, for a song that I heard at 9 in the morning on public radio about a month ago. Continue reading

What happens when I stay up all night

Bear with me on this one

When you work graveyard shifts, you are forced to mess with your sleep schedule. Sometimes, this means trying to fit a nap into your daily routine so you don’t pass out at 3AM while on shift, and sometimes it means staying up as late as you can the night before a shift to prepare yourself. Tonight is one of the latter nights. Usually, these nights will consist of activities like: resisting the urge to snack, dozily surfing the internet, or some combination of video games, movies, and porn. Also, porn. Lots of porn. But I digress.

I decided that tonight, I’m going to try to be more productive. I am going to try to log my activities in the hopes that I can both keep track of them for future reference, and motivate myself to be more creative. Continue reading

Canada! The internet needs your help!

This is the best picture I could find under short notice, okay?

Look, this blog was never meant to be informative, political, or have anything that people would call, “substance”, but because there seems to be a lack of awareness of this issue in Canada, I just wanted to do my part. I’m not a journalist, so I will just give you links to places where people have done a good job at compiling the information regarding Bill C-11. If you haven’t heard, this bill is along the lines of SOPA and all the other internet-regulating bills. It could apparently make things like PVR and ripping cd’s to your mp3 players illegal, and could force internet provides to shut down your internet access if you are even suspected of piracy. This bill is dangerously close to being passed, and because not even Canadians care about Canadian news, it is going through relatively quietly. If you like your internet like you like your women – uninhibited – then take a minute to do your part.

To learn a bit about the bill, click here and here.

To sign a petition to stop the bill, click here.

Once you have done that, reward yourself by watching this “Best of Youtube” compilation – YouTube is a website that may never have existed if this kind of bill was passed 10 years ago.

Thank you for your time, now get back to work you filthy pirates.


The 5 types of people in a Vancouver Snowfall

Well, we were all waiting for it, and now the first (and probably only) major snowfall in the Vancouver area has arrived. While a decent dumping of snow is not entirely common for Vancouver, it is not all that irregular, either. One thing that is regular, however, is the people you will encounter during a snowfall around here. To make it easier for you, I have compiled a list of 5 of the most common characters that will show themselves during the brief period that there is snow in the lower mainland.

Continue reading

My (Hungover) Christmas Wish-List

Okay, so, it’s been a busy few weeks for me, as I’m sure it has been for many of you. Between exams and getting ready for Christmas, I have just not had a lot of time to devote to writing about which celebrities I like or hate or giving opinions on things that nobody asked me about. That being said, I wanted to do something nice for the holidays. I should say, however,that because I’ve been so busy, I’ve had to do work at times that I normally wouldn’t. I will admit, at this point,  that I was severely hung over when I wrote the bulk of this post, and I just haven’t had a chance to go over it since then. I don’t want to delay postings this any further though, so here goes. I’m sure it’s fine.

Continue reading

Why University is a Time-Sucking Vortex that Ruins Lives (But I love it)

Just replace that apple with liquor

As all of you have undoubtedly noticed, it has taken me longer than usual to do a post. This hasn’t been for lack of trying or inspiration, it has simply been because it’s exam time. For me, that means devoting about 30% more time to school work, and about 45% more time to sitting in a room alone and having anxiety about school work. With that in mind, here is why I think University can be a life-crushing succubus that eats time and shits Degrees.

1. Weekends

Here is a quick sample of what I assume goes on on Friday nights for everyone that isn’t in school and doesn’t have kids yet.

[Interior; Dance Club. Colourful strobing lights and loud, thumping music playing in the background]

Guy 1: Hey man! pass me another round of drugs and boobs!

Guy 2: Hell yeah, here you go man! I love drugs and boobs! I can’t believe we get to have them every weekend!

Girl 1 : Bring me more penises! Let’s go skydiving!

Girl 2: Yay! Drunk skydiving sex!


Okay, that might not be the most accurate representation of what goes on on Friday nights, but when you contrast it with what is going on in my head most Friday nights, you can understand the lack of accuracy. Here’s a sample of a common inner-monologue for me on a Friday night.

[Interior, Dark basement, soft-but noticeable buzz of furnace kicking on and off]

Internal Monologue : …okay…so if we have analytic and synthetic propositions, then a priori truth claims would match…I wonder if anyone has updated facebook…nope…what about twitter….ha, that’s a good tweet from Patton Oswalt, I’ll retweet that…okay, so a priori truth claims come before the proposition…oh, I wonder if TheChive has any new pictures up…

You get the idea.

2. Good at School/Shitty at Life

Not long ago, I was about half way through a rather tough paper where I had to re-state a dense metaphysical position in my own words. I took a break to grab some dinner, but I kept thinking about the paper the whole time. While praising myself for being able to figure out this paper so well, I managed to put a large helping of coleslaw onto my plate and microwave it. I don’t suggest that anyone does this. I was too ashamed to admit my stereotypically nerdy mistake, so I cowered back to my basement and slowly ate the warm mayonnaise and cabbage while seriously re-evaluating my own self-worth.

Point being,  due to the need for me to be in my head so much, I make mistakes like this all the time. See Also: mixing whites with colours (with laundry, I mean, not in busses or classrooms – I’m cool with that), driving well past my exits on the freeway, consistently forgetting at least one thing I need every time I leave the house, and mistaking expired yogurt for sour cream and only noticing it half way through eating a plate of perogies.

I could have easily done this.

3. Shitty Profs

The trouble is, most courses depend entirely on the professor for how enjoyable, informative, and rewarding they are. If you have a good prof, then you’re set. Having a shitty prof, however, is sometimes like having to spend 4 months with an annoying cousin that thinks he’s smarter than you – except this cousin gets to choose 20% of all of your activities for those 4 months, and if you don’t do them to his (usually arbitrary) standards, he gets to jeopardize your future by lowering your GPA.

Yes, shitty bosses suck, and you likely will be with them longer. The difference is, your bosses pay you. Having a shitty professor is like paying 500 bucks for someone to shit in your ears once a week for 12 weeks in a row. For those of you that find this idea appealing – then I suggest taking Sociology.

ohhhhh snap!

4. Everyone hates you / You hate everyone

That epic burn on Sociology brings me to my last point: that anyone who takes their academic studies seriously will eventually regard theirs as the superior one. This is just as much a function of people tending to think that their form of life is the best one, but with academia, you are given more ways to defend this view. This won’t necessarily last forever, but around 2nd year, you may notice yourself becoming dismissive of other areas of study. In the Sciences, Physics like to think it is the truest form of study, followed by chemistry and biology, and they all collectively laugh at the soft or human sciences. All of the humanities arbitrarily favour humanities in general, shrugging off the sciences because they lack heart or passion or whatever. Meanwhile, Math and Philosophy just kind of stand in the corner and mumble about being better than all of them. Oh, and let’s not forget that most people doing vocational training will mock you for completely wasting your time.

If you don’t fall into those traps, you’re still going to be alienated from people who don’t go to school because it takes up so much of your time, and you won’t have that much in common with people that work full time for a living. Bottom line is, after you find the area of study you like and the professors that you like within that study, you are going to be pretty isolated. A lot of people are going to think you’re either an elitist or an idiot, and you’re going to think those people are poor, misguided fools.

Meet your new friends, essentially

So, if you’re a committed University student, you are going to spend most of your time in class, thinking about class, or doing assignments for class. If you don’t like those kinds of activities, you’re going to have a tough go, and at this point, it isn’t the only option for having a viable career.

Why do I do it? Because I wouldn’t rather be doing anything else, really. As for missing out on partying or other opportunities – well, no one parties like University students after exam time – Not because we are better at it, but because we just need it more.