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Dear Comedy Writers,

We all really need to step up our game when it comes to making fun of Canada. For far too long, I’ve had to sit back and watch as jews, asians, hipsters, people of the southern US, and women get ripped apart by offensive yet intricate and well formed insults. I’ll get to my rant about the lack of jokes about white men later, but for now, we need to hit the reset button on the Canada jokes. I am sick of people popping in a hockey or maple syrup reference and expecting it to be a joke. Same goes for the dialect. Saying “me ruv you rong time” isn’t done anymore, and neither should “how aboot some hockey eh?” (That being said, there exceptions to every rule, and under the right circumstances, both of those could be hilarious.) There’s got to be more to Canada that can be made fun of! We are a diverse nation full of ridiculous people and places. There is more to us than being polite or emulating the US! There is more than hockey and beer!

As a Canadian citizen, I have decided to compile a list of silly or funny things about Canada  that are rarely recognized.

Well shit, I guess there isn’t much else. Nevermind.

A wet Canadian Beaver.

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