Weekly Thing – Brought to you by Apple-Bottom Jeans

You know what – screw you guys. I don’t even care. I like Flo Rida, okay? I know he is ridiculous. His name is just Florida with a space for crying out loud. Have you seen his face? His beard looks like it’s made of clay, I’ve never seen anything like it. As much as his music is formulaic, unoriginal, shallow, and downright absurd, I’ll be damned if I don’t wanna dance whenever I hear “Low” or “Club Can’t Handle Me”. Even his new song is catchy – and you absolutely have to watch the video for it. In fact, you know what, here

(Yeah, okay, this is technically a David Guetta song, but Flo Rida is in most of it and it sounds like the rest of his songs, so cut me a break.)

I don’t know who came up with this idea. At some point, someone talked to Flo-Rida or his management or whatever, and was like “hey, so the video is gonna be some DJ’s blowing bubbles with speakers playing the song, and those bubbles will float around the city like zeppelins, and whomever pops them will immediately start dancing like a marionette being operated by someone with MS”. Watch the video – THAT’S THE ONLY POSSIBLE EXPLANATION.

Also, you have to commend a guy who just took the name of the place he was from and made it into a rap name. As I write this, I’m trying to decide which persona I should go with.  It’s either the kind of rock/urban name Vanco-Uver (prounounced like “hover”);  or Map Le Rij, a sort of sexy french/persian folk-rapper. If I get enough votes for one or the other in the comments, we might hear from him in the future.

Here, Flo Rida considers how different his life would be if he was born in Virginia


The Comedy Graveyard:

Rape jokes – I hate to do this, but I’ve seen too many assholes do rape jokes just to show off how edgy they are. Same goes for racist jokes -it’s about the context – and if the context is you confusing conventionally offensive terms for humour, then it is the wrong context. We are too desensitized to offensive humour now, so you can’t just fall back on mentioning rape and expect a laugh. This isn’t a moral stance, this is a stance against shitty comedy.  Unless it’s good, or you’re Louis CK or Doug Stanhope, don’t do it.

Still Funny: Jews – sorry guys!

The Shit List:

Bob Odenkirk – I haven’t even seen what he’s done on Breaking Bad, and I don’t care, I know its good. If you ever see his name attached to something – watch it. I’m not even gonna qualify that or explain why. Just fucking do it.


4 responses to “Weekly Thing – Brought to you by Apple-Bottom Jeans

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