Can we all just shut up about Weed already?

First of all, I don’t care if you smoke pot. I don’t care if you smoke it once a week, I don’t care if you smoke it three times a day. I also don’t care if you’ve never even touched a joint in your life (though I pretty much call bullshit if you actually claim that). I just want everyone to shut up about how great/terrible it is and how useless/necessary the prohibition of it is. I don’t care. I don’t care if weed get’s legalized and sold at corner stores tomorrow or if the government institutes a stage 5 Code Hale-storm on it and hunts down every last plant, bud and seed and vaporizes it. I just don’t want to hear the same goddamn arguments over and over again.

It’s not the wonder drug that makes everything better, and it’s not a tool of the drug dealers used to get you hooked on more dangerous stuff. It’s just a goddamn plant that you smoke or eat and it makes you feel funny and think about things a bit differently for a while. If i have to hear one more pot head tell me that it should be legal because it is less dangerous than alcohol, or one more anti-drug advocate tell me that legalizing it will lead to widespread use that will destroy the society, I’m gonna set my own house on fire out of sheer frustration.

Don't make me do it - I like my house


It's a pot-head. Get it?

Let’s face it, you don’t want it to be legal because it less dangerous than alcohol, and you don’t really care about the possibility of reducing gang involvement in it. You want to smoke it, plain and simple. Stop bullshitting me with your pseudo-logical arguments and claims that it is for the good of society or the nation. Say it with me, “I want to smoke weed, and I don’t want it to be illegal for me to do that”. I would respect everyone a lot more if they would at least cop to that more explicitly, and would appreciate it if they started all of their tirades against prohibition with it.


He's trying to hold in a fart in this picture

Weed isn’t a gateway drug. The idea of a ‘gateway’ drug is itself absurd. The fact that many hard drug users began their drug-careers with pot in no way shows that it actually causes or leads them to harder drugs. Drug users have to start somewhere, and if pot didn’t exist, they’d just start somewhere else. The problem with people using harder and harder drugs isn’t a problem of the drugs, it’s a problem of the user. If you live in BC and also think that weed will necessarily or likely lead to harder drugs, you are fooling yourself, unless you think that the majority of the population will overdose on heroin some time soon.

Also, cool it with the moral judgements – it’s not the weed that you dislike, it’s the stoners. I’m with you on it, trust me, there is nothing more annoying to me than a slow-witted goon telling me that drugs has given them real, lasting experiences or new understandings about the world – but that’s a problem I have with people, not the drugs themselves. All of the problems you list : that it leads to inactivity, that it is a crutch or shield from deeper psychological problems, and that it can be addictive – these are all problems, but they are properties of the users, not the drugs. Trying to blame it on drugs is like trying to blame the bridge that people jump off for their suicide.   There is nothing in the act of getting high that makes it bad, and with weed, it is extremely hard to cook up extrinsically damaging properties.

Ouu, big words. Who are you trying to impress?

Can it, Fat Joker.

So, just shut up, everyone. Make it legal, or kill everyone that uses it, I’m totally fine with either of these options. It’s not the end of the world if it isn’t legalized. You will still be able to smoke it, just not in the park (though people still totally smoke it in the park). Is it really such a big deal? Is this the debate you’re going to spend your time on? Being an advocate for or against weed is starting to look a lot less like a moral crusade, and a lot more like a superficial, petty argument with each side trying to claim moral high-ground over basically nothing. I will end this with my estimation of the actual root and basis for each side of the argument.

Pro-Weed: I like to smoke weed.

Anti-Weed: I don’t like stoners.

BOOM. Now here’s a cute puppy to make up for the lack of funny in this post.



7 responses to “Can we all just shut up about Weed already?

  • Richard Ellicott

    “I don’t care if weed get’s legalized and sold at corner stores tomorrow or if the government institutes a stage 5 Code Hale-storm on it and hunts down every last plant, bud and seed and vaporizes it”

    are you sure? just you seem to have thought about it a little bit

    just I don’t think there is such thing as a “unbiased opinion” that’s usually only “achieved” by.. not having any opinion at all.. a couple of paragraphs of ranting and you may well have caught an opinion

    “You want to smoke it, plain and simple.”…. um.. er.. yes… er no “i’d like to bake it into cookies”… point is although this argument seemed to be good enough for beer…it was more the further stipulation we as a society made about beer when it was banned:

    “we want to drink it so much we’re turn your society upside down if you don’t let us”

    .. which is what happened in the USA, the world best example of banning beer..

    so you may mock we are somewhat less honest but I counter it is because we are more docile.. and ultimately less able to fund the collapse of society (muslim nations ignored for convenience)

  • chasingbirdswithdrunkards

    I never claimed to have an “unbiased opinion”, and if I did have one, it certainly wouldn’t mean that I didn’t have one. My claim in the opening paragraph was that my concern was not how people felt about the smoking of marijuana.

    As for the rest of what you wrote – I’m not sure what you are saying, and I definitely don’t understand your reference to “muslim nations” at the end. Maybe spend more time developing your thought and try again.

  • Gough

    Go die in a fire whiner

  • Boris

    I’m tired of my Facebook freind who must constantly report several times daily his love of pot, when, how, etc.

  • nerd

    Oh my goodness! Incredible article dude! Many thanks, However I am encountering
    difficulties with your RSS. I don’t understand the reason why I cannot join it. Is there anybody else getting similar RSS problems? Anybody who knows the answer will you kindly respond? Thanks!!

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