What happens when I stay up all night

Bear with me on this one

When you work graveyard shifts, you are forced to mess with your sleep schedule. Sometimes, this means trying to fit a nap into your daily routine so you don’t pass out at 3AM while on shift, and sometimes it means staying up as late as you can the night before a shift to prepare yourself. Tonight is one of the latter nights. Usually, these nights will consist of activities like: resisting the urge to snack, dozily surfing the internet, or some combination of video games, movies, and porn. Also, porn. Lots of porn. But I digress.

I decided that tonight, I’m going to try to be more productive. I am going to try to log my activities in the hopes that I can both keep track of them for future reference, and motivate myself to be more creative. Alright, let’s get this started.

2:10AM

I’m a bit late getting into this, so let’s start with a bang. I have a lot of reading to do for school right now, so I’m gonna get some of it done. I’ve decided to read a chapter from Immanuel Kant’s Critique of Pure Reason. Now, even in the middle of the day this book is like trying to read a brick wall, but I’ll do my best. To make this a more inclusive experience, I’ll type out a bit of what I’m about to read.

On the Transcendental Clue for the Discovery of all Pure

Concepts of the Understanding

First Section

On the logical use of the understanding in general

The understanding has been explained above only negatively, as a non-sensible faculty of cognition. Now we cannot partake of intuition independantly of sensibility. The understanding is therefore not a faculty of intuition. But besides intuition there is no other kind of cognition than through concepts…

Nope. Fuck it.

2:26AM

Okay, that was a non-starter. Quick food and drink break, and then I’ll get back to being creative.

2:40AM

Well, all I managed to get was a rum and coke made with rum that I stole from my dad because I guess I’m that guy now. But anyway, let’s get to it. Time to do something creative. Annnnnd go.

Okay, not as easy as I thought. Maybe I need some help.

Why don't you write a nice poem?

Great idea, Cute Bamboo Puppy!

Okay, here’s the deal, I’m gonna use this random word generator to give me 3 words, and then I have to turn those 3 words into a poem.

The words are: “Superintendent”, “Rotting”, and “Animate”

Easy. Alright, here we go – poem time.

2:49AM

Scratch that. It’s drink time.

3:00AM

You know what? I need some inspiration. Poems are hard to write this late at night. HOLY CRAP, THAT RHYMED AND I DIDN’T EVEN TRY TO DO THAT. anyway, I’m gonna take a break,  have some more of this rum,  and watch “The Larry Sanders Show”

3:05AM

Hank Kingsley is definitely in the top 10 TV characters of all time

3:07AM

Seriously guys what is wrong with Gary Shandling’s face. I love him, but what the hell.

3:07

Okay, I’m taking a break within this break to go get some more food and maybe some more liquor.

3:35

Inner-break done. Now back to Larry Sanders.

3:38

I  screwed up cooking this hoagie. It’s burned on the outside and totally cold on the inside. How do you fuck up a hot dog?

3:45

Alright, the show is over, time to get creative.

“Superintendent”, “Rotting”, and “Animate”

Let’s think of some themes that these words have in common.

Um, well, “rotting” and “animate” could be like a zombie thing, right? Like, re-animated rotting flesh? What about some kind of a zombie poem?

Ode to a Zombie

Oh, how thou wander

The streets in search of meat

But not the meat in the grocery isle

Nay,

The meat found in our heads

“Brains”, is what you say

And moan into the night

A moan as if to whisper

“I seek that which I do not have”

And is this not,

What we all seek?

That was beautiful

Thanks, Elder-God Cage! Well, I guess that’s one thing I’ve accomplished for the night!

4:06

Shit, I didn’t actually use any of the words in that poem. Well, screw it, I’m gonna watch videos of Boohbah on YouTube and drink for a while.

4:08

Yes, Boohbah is an actual children’s show. It is not a show designed exclusively for stoners and drunk philosophy majors.

ALL REALITY EXISTS IN THE MIND OF THE BOOHBAH

4:23

This isn’t a bit – I have been watching Boohbah for the last 15 minutes.

4:56

Okay, well I just fell asleep and woke up to those terrifying yet adorable yet strangely arousing characters, and that is not something I wish on anybody. Maybe it’s time for me to go to bed.

...but what about the poem?

Oh, jesus christ, Puppy, you just don’t let up, do you. Fine, you want a poem? Here you go:

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Superintendant, Rotting, Animate

Fuck you

Peace out, internet.

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